Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

Inside of the Moon Temple Restaurant is a seedy lounge area named the Mandarin Room. Immediately upon walking in you can tell that this is not exactly what you would call a high-class joint. In fact, you might be tempted to call it a dive. The lighting is dim, the decor is questionable, but all in all, it has a nice divey feel without actually having a divey clientele.

The lounge itself probably seats about thirty to forty people, depending on how friendly everyone is. There really isn't a lot of standing room, but this isn't a standing room kind of place. There is also a "banquet" area in the back, but while it is big, it isn't "nice."

The drinks were exceptionally strong (I could not really taste the orange juice in my screwdriver.) The real bonus here though, is that there is full kitchen service to the bar. The Sweet and Sour pork (I think) that we ordered had a generous portion, good flavor, and inexpensive price tag. The waitress was nice, but there was only the one of her for I think the whole seating area, thus leaving her a little over worked.

All in all though, it is a good place to sit with friends, have a few drinks and order to some food before going out. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

When we walked in I was immediately struck by how nice this place looked. While the entire place maybe seats about 30 to 40 everything looked to be of exceptional quality. The walls were painted red, but there was a lot of texture and the artwork was excellent. Walking in, you could immediately see the cooking area. I always consider this an excellent sign.

We were immediately shown up to the "bar", which was really just a little area room to the right that had a bar, a couple of tables and a couple of booths. It was very cozy, and I could easily see taking a date here for a nice quiet dinner.

I ordered a Side Car and while the drinks were a little pricey, they were excellent. Now I should mention that when I say pricey, I mean the drinks cost about $6, but at least you can taste the quality. This is not a problem as long as you can afford the quality.

The wait staff was all cute and attentive. Our waitress was very friendly and was happy to explain the various drinks on the specialty menu. It always nice to have staff that seems to really care about (even if they are only paid to be nice.) Oh one last note that struck me as nice. After we had finished our drinks they came up to check if we wanted another. Now despite the fact that they were obviously about to close, they sincerely seemed to be happy to let us have another drink and allow us to just lounge around, while they worked. We declined, but it was nice anyhow.

All in all, while this is really a place for dinner, I am happy to give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. It is definitely above average, even if your just going for drinks.

-w00t

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Mid-Scale

Now before I totally pan this bar let me start by saying, that yes ... we only had one drink there. The atmosphere seemed ok (if you like the backward hat, Abercrombie & Fitch wearing white guy.) But what it comes down to is this. THE DRINK I HAD WAS ASS*!!!.

I ordered a G&T. The glass I got was like a normal glass' younger brother who had not yet hit puberty. The drink itself was as weak as a ten-year-old girl. Generally I like a little tonic with my gin, but in this case, I got the feeling that the drink was actually catholic and its father owned a gun. The gin was introduced to the tonic but it wasn't actually allowed to touch it.

Now if you are ordering beer and like Abercrombie & Fitch, this is the place for you. If you like your Gin and Tonic to be doing the nasty then go to Changes across the street.

I give this place 1 Martini Glass crushed beneath your boot out of 5.

*ASS:
1) To be truly and completely horrible
2) To smell like a person's posterior

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Mid-Scale

Goldie’s is a sports bar, pure and simple. It has no pretensions about what it is (except for the dusty espresso machine off to one side.) It has four or five pool tables, four dart machines, sports video games, numerous TVs, and you can answer trivia to cut your bar bill in half. We had a great time here. When we went on Thursday, it was not crowded and while I don't really go for "sporty" women, or "sporty" men groupies (also a type of woman), the women here were plentiful and cute.

We played darts, drank our drinks, watched the updates on March Madness, and just generally had a good time. I don't really have that much else to say, other than that I really liked the place. I give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Dive

I have very little to say about this bar except for the following things:

1) It is a gay bar
2) They have a pool table
3) The drinks are cheap and good ($3.50 for Finlandia Cran and Cranberry Juice)
4) They had Golden Girls playing on several of their TVs.

Now I don’t really know how to feel about this whole Golden Girls issue. When I was younger I always used to watch this show as it was part of the regular line-up. But looking back at the show now, it just kind of gives me the willies. Did you know that there are actual Golden Girls Groupies, out there? Kind of frightening if you ask me.

All that being said, as I am not gay, I will simply give a nice standard 3 Martini Glasses out of 5. If you are gay, you might want to add another glass to that.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Average

The Tin Hat is the place to go if you are looking to have a few drinks with friends in a pub atmosphere. They have good seating (although the table we were using wobbled a little), a cute waitress, and stacks of games. We played Yatzee while drinking. This is a long-standing tradition amongst a different group of friends, and I have to say I forgot how much fun it is. Pat and Tony don't even need the Yatzee sheets anymore (able to recreate them from memory.)

Now the Tin Hat, I will admit, will forever hold a special place in my heart. It was hear that we met Maia. Maia is a waitress there and she was both interested and interesting. She was the first person we told about our quest and she was fully supportive of the idea. I suspect that Maia could easily have broken our quest right there if she denounced our idea and mocked us. But instead we now place Maia on a pedestal. She will get some sort of special reward I think. I just don't know what yet.

The drinks were average, but I mean this in a good way. They tasted right, were a good price, and were served promptly. Any drink less than average (see the reviews for Murphy's) will be duly noted. I consider average to be the baseline, so don't let its apparent lack luster description sway you.

All in all The Tin Hat is a great example of a neighborhood bar. I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Dive

This is your standard neighborhood Irish pub (sort of.) There is nothing special about this place unless you like substandard Karaoke, and bartenders who scoff at your ideas.

The drinks were average, they have a single pool table and a dartboard (real darts however). Generally I might consider rating them a little higher, but with The Tin Hat, right next door, there is absolutely no good reason to go here.

I give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Average

This is your typical University Sports bar, but that’s not a bad thing. When we were there it was empty, which I will say was a little strange for about 9 pm on a Friday, but I imagine the crowds come later.

It is dim, cool (temperature wise), had several TVs and a couple of very cute waitresses. There are two dartboards and a pool table. There is a "dance" floor (I think that’s what it was) in the center of the place. They were offering $3 Long Island Ice Teas. They were crappy bar Long Islands, but who I am too pass up strong drinks cheap. I was tempted to stay for another, but it is only day two of our quest, so I am going to have to stick to the rules. Only one drink per place while there is still drinking to do.

Jason ran into a friend of his, Dan, who is, according to Jason, "the best looking guy I know." Now I am not really a good judge of how attractive a man is (as that is not how I swing) but I will say, that he was good looking. In addition, I guess he is very creative and liked our idea. He said that he was going to make us some business cards. I hope that this is the case, especially if he is as talented as Jason describes.

I am not a big fan of sports bars, but I suspect this one is pretty good. So I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Class: Neighborhood Bar
Type: Average

There is no other way to describe Flowers other than as cozy. All of the tables are very close together and the lighting is dim and friendly. The tables are smaller than average and the whole effect is to give one a sense of friendliness or claustrophobia, depending on which way you swing. The decor is nice, I guess, but it is really just a hodge podge of stuff that simply adds to its cozy feel.

The clientele though, is the reason to go to Flowers. It is always filled with higher quality co-eds than you would get at a place like the All American. The problem lies in the coziness though. There is not really room for you to stand and flirt with your neighbor. It is great if you are going with a small group, but trying to meet people here requires you to "accidentally" eavesdrop on a conversation, which is almost a requirement.

The G&T was strong and good. I liked the atmosphere, but it would have been better with a group rather than just Jason and I. I give this bar 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Mid-Scale

We went to Rain Dancer to see a friend of Jason's band perform. Now I accept $5 cover to get in, but I should at least mention that I really hate cover charges. We did not have a cover charge at Zach’s, and a lot of places skip the cover, cause your drinking. But really, I accept it and move on. The part I am going to gripe about though, is the fact that it was a cash only bar. I am not sure if they are always a cash only bar, if their credit card machine was on the blink, or what, but I HATE cash only. I would prefer to live in a cashless society. If I could swipe my debit card through a soda machine I would and I would be blissfully happy for those 10 seconds I didn't spend digging through my pockets for change and then feeding the machine. This cash only bar problem is compounded by the fact that I just spent most of my cash at the All American and at Flowers. But who could have predicted.

Rain Dancer's layout is split into 3 main areas: Front seating, bar w/ island standing room, and a performance/food area.

The Front seating area has high chairs and small round tables perfect for two. Alternatively you can do what we did and shanghai the entire area and just stand and sit as you like.

The bar area is long and wavy and looks nice. Next to it is the prime flirting area with a stand up island and very little room. Thus you can place your drinks down but you have to keep squeezing up to the person next to you so people can scoot on by.

The back area is a large seating area, with a small clear area to dance (not that anyone did.) The stage is well sized and it is an excellent place to see a nice intimate show.

I do have one other major complaint about the place, and that would be the men's bathroom. The men's bathroom is a single room with a toilet, a urinal, a sink, and NO LOCK!!. You will be in there pissing and then some other guy walks in and uses the other facility. Then a 3rd guy comes in and just stands in a corner cause there is no more room, and then finally a 4th guy opens the door, sees the situation and decides that he can hold it. Now if you don't have to piss then this is real damn problem. Lets just say that I do not approve of this situation at all.

So to sum up: Good space to see a band. Cash bar sucks. Nice place for socializing. Bathroom sucks. Drinks are pretty good. So I guess it evens out to a 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Mid-Scale

The Sit and Spin is probably one of the most unique establishments in all of Seattle. It is one part 24 hour Laundromat, one part bar, one part restaurant, and one part concert space. It does all of these thing moderately well. The drinks were average, the piece of pizza I had was decent, the washing machines seemed fine, and the concert space was cozy.

The Sit and Spin does not have a lot of room devoted to one thing, but I think the mix was interesting enough that I would come back here, especially if I needed to do laundry at 11:30 PM. They had several old video games (Galaga and Centipede - oh how I hate you spider) and the wait staff was both friendly and mean spirited. Jason pointed out that they had OEB (Old English Bitter?) on draft. I guess that’s a good thing, but I'll stick to my snooty micro-brews and G&Ts, thank you.

The concert space seriously lacked for seating (it had about 10-15 people worth of seating around the edges) but once the show started all of the standing people would block your view. We saw several bands there, and sound system varied from being decent, to being very loud when the drummer struck the Timpani (made me wince every time.)

All in all, I really liked it and would definitely go back. I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel Bar
Class: Upscale

The Brasserie Margaux is located in the Westin Hotel (Ed note: Actually, as bardude points out, it is the Warwick - sorry Warwick) across from the Cinerama. Just walking into this hotel bar you can tell that it is a nice comfortable place where you can have an excellent drink and just sit and talk with some friends or that "special someone."

Sitting down, the first indication that this is a really nice place is that there are no prices on your drink menu. But since we about to have our first official sponsor, thanks to Wolf, we figured it should be a nice place, and he wasn't complaining.

Jason ordered a Lemon drop and I ordered a Cremesicle. Man those were some excellent drinks. It was all top shelf booze and you could taste it. Mine of $7.50 and Jason's was $6.50, but it was worth it.

I really loved it here and could easily spend more time here. It was not crowded on a Saturday night, if that is what you like, and I imagine the food is also excellent. We had some bar snacks and those were tasty. I give 4 and Half Martini Glasses our of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

We walked into the Dahlia Lounge at about 11:15 on a Saturday night. Walking through the front entrance we were greeted by a well-dressed gentleman who gave us a nod. I think he could tell we were not there for food. I would like to start by saying that decor was excellent. It was set in soft reds, with nice colored paper lanterns, and dark wood. It had a very downtown cosmopolitan feel.

The bar was well stocked and even though the place was mostly empty, there was, relatively, a bunch of wait staff. I got the feeling that dinner had just ended and that they were still open mainly to clean up and serve some last booze to those straggling denizens of downtown.

We ordered our drinks and sat in a tiny booth. Now, unfortunately, the drinks had the prices of a downtown bar, with the quality. My G&T tasted, well, ... off. I don't know if it was cheap gin, if it was poorly mixed, or if it was just an average G&T and I had just had a truly excellent Creamsicle Martini over at the Brasserie Margaux. But it was definitely nothing to write home about.

While I suspect that the food is very good, and that this would a great place to bring a date you would like to impress, bringing her to the small bar area for a quick drink is not the way to do it.

I found the place to be a typical downtown establishment: Pretty, expensive, but only of average quality drinks. As such I give it 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

The Rickshaw is full of true seedy goodness. This place is one part diner one part Chinese food restaurant, and one part bar. They host Karaoke nights, serve questionable but edible diner food (which is good, but in a diner kind of way), and have the longest happy hour known to man (from 7am to 4pm, everyday, I think.)

You could tell that our waitress was a goddess of the dive and would be equally at home slinging plates, pouring booze, or putting a big drunk guy in his place. Despite the fact that I outweighed her by probably 100 lbs, there is no way, I would ever be willing to stand up to her. She just had that "look" about her.

Our drinks were strong and cheap (just like the booze they use). The kitchen stays open until a midnight, but supposedly you can usually get food after that, since the cooks are also the night cleaners (I'm not sure how I feel about that.)

All in all, a great Sunday morning hangover cure. I give it 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Dive

The Canterbury Ale and Eats is located on the north most edge of 15th in Capitol Hill. Even from the outside, you can tell that it has a distinctive feel (whether you like that feel or not.) I have always had a soft spot for faux Olde' English style places in the US. They are pure kitsch (tacky but in a good way.) The outside is modeled like a medieval pub, with olde' style woodworking and a sign that hangs in front proclaiming where you are.

When you enter initially, there is a small dining area with well-worn old dark wood. It would look really nice except for the fact that it is all obviously just worn down. To the left is a small dining area where people seem to be enjoying dinner. The bar area is dark and smoky. We get drinks that are effectively $3 doubles. They are not good drinks, but they are sizeable drinks. Off in a side room, only accessible through the bar are several pool tables. The people standing around them, are dive people. They fit right in.

You know you are in Capitol Hill when you look up at the Pull-tab machine and there is a big bowl of free condoms sitting on top of it. I will also mention that this happens to be the closest bar to Volunteer Park. Now, I'm saying anything about that except, well I am. On a completely unrelated note, I was sitting in the chair that rests in front of the game machine, and it kept spinning me back towards the games. It was like the chair was programmed to draw its sitter to the game so that they would have to drop a quarter in, if only to appease the hungry beast.

On a side note, I have eaten there before and while the food is not terrible, it is not good either. It is a good dive, and probably the only one you can find on the hill (other than the Comet.) While their drinks are strong, the atmosphere was too oppressive for me to really get into drinking there. The Canterbury is a good stop, but not a destination. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

--wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Mid-Scale

The Satellite has a Martini Bar feel, without actually really having the martinis. The lighting is soft, the seating is spacious (if you can actually get some), the food is good, the art is, well, Capitol Hill wall art. There is room for live music in the back, but to be perfectly honest the place is too small to allow the band to play and to allow you still carry on your conversation and anything less than a dull roar.

Normally the service her is pretty good, but tonight, the waitress was slow to come over and our Sponsor came back with the following story, "So I order the drinks and the bartender is looking confused. She casts around and stares are the bottles before her. She just can't seem to find what she is looking for. Finally, she turns to her co-worker and asks, 'Which one is the rum?' " Now here is my point. She may be new, but if she has ever made a drink in her entire life, then she should be able to read the labels and figure out which is the rum bottle. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to mix a rum and coke, but I suspect it might help.

The drink was passable, nothing special. I have had their seafood pasta primavera that was just great. But instead of staying to eat we just drank our drinks and moved on. I wish I could comment on the prices but our Sponsor paid, so I don't know.

When it comes to women, the Satellite does attract a high quality gal. Unfortunately, it also attracts her high quality boyfriend. This is really a date place, rather than a drinks place. I give it 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

--wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Mid-Scale

The Elysian Brewery is very spacious, has some comfortable booths, but is mainly only ok table seating. There is typical Brewery decor and to be perfectly honest, how many times can you be impressed with a place decorated with giant beer vats that they don't let you drink out of.

The menu here is highly questionable, in that it has that bizarre health nut/trendy Capitol Hill styles where everything sounds like something that you would normally eat, but has all sorts of unusual ingredients that really you would rather avoid.

Now I realize that this is a brewery, but whatever you do, DO NOT DRINK THE BEER. I know a number of people who have gotten ill from drinking the beer here. I don't mean, too much beer so I'm puking in some stranger's yard, amounts. I mean, a beer or two and now I think I am sick. We were sticking with hard liquor anyhow and you don't have to worry whether the gin has turned.

The Elysian appears to be a great place, but when you look closer, it is just a large eatery with a questionably trendy menu and your standard fair of drinks. I will say that I have drunk the Dragon's Tooth Oatmeal Stout and while I didn't get sick, it was not really a good beer. If you are looking for average drinks (the hard stuff), a place to sit and chat with your friends, and an "experimental" menu, then this is the place for you. If you want the same thing, but better, go to the Satellite Lounge down the street. Then when you discover that there is no seating in the Satellite Lounge because it is kind of small, come back here and grab a table.

I give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Mid-Scale

Before we walked into The Wild Rose, I must admit that I was apprehensive. It is well known to be a lesbian hangout, and while I did not actually think I was going to get beaten up by a big butch lesbian, I couldn't be sure. But it is a bar in Seattle and it is close to my house, so we had to go there.

Walking in I could tell that I would go to this bar regularly, if it were not for the fact that I doubted there were any single women there interested in men, let alone me. It has ample bar space, numerous tables, interesting signage, a pool table (or two), a juke box, $2 Wells on Thursday, and a Count Chocula Bobble Head Doll.

When we walked in (three guys) no heads turned, there was no outcry against the male oppressors, and the bartender immediately came over and asked us what we wanted. Florence is excellent. She made us great drinks, didn't mock our quest, gave us swag, and was generally really amazing. Everyone needs to visit this bar and say hi to Florence (She's the tall busty Blonde).

The most bizarre part of the evening, would be when these two guys came in and tried to sell totally miscellaneous merchandise to Florence and her co-worker. They had coin sorter, a singing, skating Dani doll, and some other stuff. Florence said that this has only happened to her about 3 or 4 time in four years, so don't expect them to show up on your visit, but hey, who knows.

All in All, I give the Wild Rose Four Martini Glasses out of Five, but only because I'm not a lesbian.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel Bar/Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Your first real experience with the Dragonfish, comes when you walk into the small pre-lobby and are faced with two enormous wooden doors. These doors are just plain imposing and might cool. They have some weight to them as well and this very definitely adds to the mystique.

When you get in there however, you find a bizarre, interesting, and eclectic mix of styles and moods all under one roof. We went in on a Friday night at about 7:00 pm and it was just positively packed. Since we were there just for a drink, they let stand in the bar. There was no seating available, but we could stand if we liked. We did so.

The bar is probably the most interesting portion of the Cafe anyhow. There is nicely stocked bar and two bartenders. Behind the row of 5 small tables up on the wall there are Japanese "slot machines." I am not sure what kind of games they actually are, but each one is in a fake plastic color of bright red or bright yellow and has various blinking lights and happy dancing icons. They look very inviting, but as they are gambling machines, all of the coin slots are sealed.

The drinks are not inexpensive but Jason's screwdriver was made with fresh squeezed orange juice and my Dragon concoction was very good (if a little sour for my taste.)

Walking through the place I liked the different style compartments that packed into this restaurant. There was a sushi bar, with a yellow motif. Behind it was an open area wok based cook area (I believe) that was in more muted colors. Then in the far back away from all of the hub bub was a more quiet and personal section, for couples that want to whisper in peace.

We lingered a bit, but just as we were finishing our drinks, the waitress shooed us away from near her station and we decided it was time to leave anyway.

I very liked this place and want to come back with a mid size group for dinner. I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel Bar/Lounge
Class: Mid-Scale

I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the Cloud Room. In fact I love this place to death. It is located in the historic and slightly run down Camlin Hotel right on the northern edge of downtown.

One half of the Cloud Room is a high-end restaurant with excellent food. The other half is a piano bar with plush red chairs. In the center is banquet room that seats about 12 and in the back is a balcony that looks out over the highway. The one thing that every room has though is a view. That view ranges from the Space Needle and Queen Anne, to an apartment building and the highway. So it is true that you really need to pick your spot, but at sunset, it really doesn't matter where you stand as the soft light filters through the entire lounge.

The drinks are good, but who really notices them, when compared to the view. The staff ranges from friendly to standoffish, and while I have not actually heard their lounge singer, I imagine he simply adds to the experience.

The clientele is a mix of upwardly mobile locals, and low scale hotel guests. The guests of the Camlin are an interesting mix, but it is still a little hard to pick them out up in the Cloud Room.

All in All, I love this place and give it 5 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel Bar/Restaurant/Lounge
Class: Upscale

The 727 is everything that a high-end bar and restaurant should be. Located in the Elliot Grand Hyatt, it has everything that you could possibly want from a high-end location, except maybe for inexpensive prices.

Coming in from the street you walk down a small set of stairs. On your left is a small comfortable lounge area raised over the rest of the bar. There low chairs, low tables, and waiters popping up and down to make sure everyone has everything they need. Following another small set of stairs down, you walk into the restaurant proper with a very attractive and well-stocked bar off to your left. The hostess is gracious and did not even blink an eye at our "very casual" dress. There was no talk of dress codes or anything that made us feel out of place, despite my initial concern. Looking further into the restaurant, we could see that there was another level further down with more seating next to the open kitchen area.

The decor of the 727 was chic and stylish. Sort of a neo minimalist chic, that was all shiny metal and light polished wood. The bar area was silver and glass and looked really swank. Waiters walked passed us with amazing looking meals, and this conical serving platform of French fries made we want to the $8 (I think) for a plate of them, but my number recollection may be a bit off. Jason and I were both pleasantly pleased with our eye candy selection, cute well-dressed women for me, clean cut, tall blonde men for him.

Now I realized that this was a nice place, but when I placed down a $20 for two well drinks (Screwdriver, G&T) I expected a little more than $7.50 back. Needless to say, I just smiled, left a tip and took the drinks back to the raised island where we were sitting. I had just started to gripe about the drink prices when I took my first sip. I can unequivocally say, that this was the best G&T that I had ever had. I don't know what was in it, but goddamn was it good. It was perfectly mixed, used an incredible gin and was everything I ever dreamed that a G&T could be. Jason and I joked that they well booze must be better than the named booze I usually order (Tanqueray.) We envisioned a conversation going like this:

"Hi I'd like a Tanqueray and Tonic."
"Are you sure sir, our basic Gin is of a much greater quality than that." The bartender then follow with a very sniff.
"Uh sure. But how much better quality."
"Oh, about 3 steps. I would have to charge you more for the Tanqueray as you asked for it by name, but I really don't recommend it."

And so I would happily drink well drinks here forever and never, ever know what kind of gin they used, except for the fact that it wasn't Tanqueray.

For morbidities sake we check out the menu. Everything sounded great, but the "Bar Crunch" for $3 struck us as a little odd.

Having said all that, I must simply say that at 727 you pay for the best and you get the best. If I have someone that I want to impress, I will be taking them here. I give 727 5 Martini Glasses placed stylishly on a chic countertop out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Sport’s Bar
Class: Mid-Scale

There is nothing Grand about Von's. That is, nothing except for the Grand rip-off that they perform every time that they pour a drink from their giant wall of alcohol. I will say that while it is cool looking, it only dispenses large quantities of crap for extravagant prices.

Von's cannot decide what it is. Their bar is almost like a sports bar, but it isn't. There is lots of sports memorabilia and advertising, but the bar is too crowded and there are no sports games. The restaurant may be fine, but after talking to a friend of mine, he said that we really shouldn't eat there, and here's why. The rest of the bar is like a Bull & Finch wanna be with old style political cartoons in the bathroom, and a hodge podge of Americana on the walls.

The place has a little bit of style, with a giant heat lamp in the front foyer, square glasses, and surly waitresses.

But none of this, I mean none of this, can exempt a place from committing the cardinal bar sin. That would be seriously overcharging for CRAP!!!. If I'm paying more than $5 for a well drink, even downtown, I better be getting something better than Monarch Vodka. I don't remember what kind of gin it was, but it was equally bad. Oh sure, if you are a captive audience you can and should expect crap (like at a ball game, or on a plane), but when there is choice not 100 feet from where you are, well, you better rethink your policy.

Now as for the clientele, they all appeared to be low-end grunt type white-collar downtown workers. I almost fall into that category (except that I don't work downtown), but they all lacked color. They did not seem like an interesting or exciting group. They were huddled in their little work groups with their half on half off ties, or their unbuttoned, buttoned down shirts. In a nutshell, this was not quality white-collar clientele.

So, while the drink I received was stronger than the Catholic date I got at Murphy's it was instead with her ugly older sister, who the father has given up on. Sure you can date her, if you can stomach her, but please, just spend a little money on her so that she feels loved.

So I give Von's 1 dirty Martini Glass out of 5 and no tip.

-wOOt

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Neighborhood

The Old Pequliar is medium sized building that has been designed to look like a pub. It has the traditional faux Old World wood exterior with the dark shingles that tell you there is heavy drinking inside. Opening the door you almost run into a table that is spaced a little too close to the front door and is always empty, except when the place is totally packed. The interior of this pub has a homey, almost closed in feel to it. It is always dim, smoky, and a little claustrophobic in the front. This is despite the fact that there is actually quite a bit of room and seating in the front area. I think that it has something to do, with how many tables are packed into this area and the spacing of the pillars. To explain, there are a number of pillars throughout the place and they are located in kind of annoying places. There is one between the door and the bar, and there is another one that compresses the walking space past the bar up to the back room. Most people probably wouldn’t notice it, but I like to be able to walk with having to shift myself (unless of course I am shouldering my way to the front of a concert hall.

Sitting at the end of the bar, we ordered drinks and got sassed by the bartender (I know this is kind of chauvinistic, but I only use the word sassed when speaking about females.) I have to admit that I liked the sassing. It was nice. Bartenders with spunk are fun, but it was hard to say if she was naturally surly/sassy or if it was just her Friday night modus.

The Pequliar has a back area with a couple of high tables, a single pool table, a single dart board, and a small “lounging” area, with comfortable looking/run down chairs. It was kind of hard to tell without walking up to them.

The drinks were slightly below average. A little weak for the price, but it was Friday night, so who knows. I will mention that you probably shouldn’t wear orange when going there. I did and that was I why got sassed. I always forget that some Irish folks still take offense to that color.

The crowd in here is usually young, but tend to have a more jock, lower middle class, or student feel. It seems to attract that kind of crowd that an Irish Pub always seems to attract, which is the kind of good basic people that you often find in the outlying Seattle districts. Not rich people, but just your average middle class/just graduated college students. There are no ex-Microsoft execs hanging out here. I did have a brief coversation with a guy about the All-Blacks, the New Zealand Rugby team. But this really just supports my description.

Anyhow, the Old Pequliar is an ok bar with a decent neighborhood feel. I do recommend that you order the Harp and avoid the wells. I give it 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Desert Fire is a southwestern themed restaurant at the top of the Pacific Place mall. For mall food it is pretty good, but then again, the Pacific Place is a pretty nice mall. Jason and I went there for dinner in order to kill some time before the Two Towers Trailer.

The Desert Fire motif is both interesting and lame, depending on where you focus. Looking up at the antler lamps just makes you think of a bad family restaurant. However, looking at the cool wrought iron menu holders and bar flourishes, it is easy to forget the stupidity of looking up.

The menu is excellent and they have the best breadsticks and “southwest” cream cheese. They are terribly dangerous because all I want to do is sit there and nosh on breadsticks. Mmmmmm … tasty, tasty breadsticks.

My drink was average and priced at about $4. There is a patio, which I recommend if the weather is good. The staff is friendly and helpful and it is an all around decent place. It doesn’t really have much in the way of a bar atmosphere. You’d be better off going over to Gordon Birsch next door if you insist on drinking in a mall.

I give Desert Fire 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Denny’s
Class: Denny’s

Now what could I possibly say about Denny’s here. I will simply sum it up as follows: It is Denny’s. It has a bar. You can get drinks while you eat your Dagwood at 2:00 in the afternoon. Now come on, what were you expecting. I can’t even rate this. I just can’t do it. Could you?

-w00t

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Upscale

Fado has an interesting but unassuming storefront down on First Avenue a block up from Pioneer Square. It has various Irish instruments and artifacts in the windows, but they are so dark and blocked up that you would never know what a huge and potentially hoping place lies inside.

The Décor is nice mix of the traditional Irish Pub, an interesting theme for each room, and upscale artifacts that decorate each area. There is a large bar with an attractive bartender. In all, I think that there are about four or five separate rooms, each with a different theme. There is an “old world” kitchen, an Irish pub, a chic dinning area, and then one or two more. This is a great place to go with a large group (say up to about 10) if you grab the right spot. There are a number of large seating areas and the back is great for a group that is willing to mill.

The group of people that were in Fado on a Tuesday night were a mixture of couples, and small groups of early twenties students/Seattle office workers (hard to tell some days.) It was a nice mix of people, but as I have been finding in bars, the best place to meet other people, is sitting at the bar.

The drinks were average, but a little pricey. It seemed like a nice place, and I could imagine just how packed it was on the weekends. It doesn’t have a dance floor of any sort, so I suspect that the only pastimes to engage in while here is drinking and talking to people Depending on whether you a people person or an alcoholic then that might be right up your alley.

I give Fado 3 Martini Glasses out of 5

-w00t

Type: Dance Bar
Class: Chic

You can tell immediately that the Contour takes itself very seriously. It has a large plate glass store front that allows you to see its large swooping bar, the flashing lights from the dance floor in back and the “pretty people.” Outside there is a large bouncer and a guy sitting in front of a cash register. Fortunately for us, it was a Tuesday night at like 10:30 and there was no cover. Of course there was no crowd or either, but that is fine. The frisking was fairly thorough, but as was pointed out in the Long Kiss Goodnight, “a man is usually unwilling to touch another man’s Mr. Willy.” (Misquoted, I’m fairly sure, but you get the idea.” The bouncer did grab Jason’s Leatherman, which annoyed me more than it did him.

The décor inside is very nice. The chic looking furniture, a stylish bar, and some very interesting wall art. There is a bizarre modern art bust or bodies behind the bar, which I found interesting, but Jason did not like. There was also a huge door/gate that I think was made from an enormous mold hanging on the wall. It looked antique and kind of gothic. Anyhow, it was huge and cool looking. In the back they had paper lanterns and a dance floor with Sims style spinning lights. A DJ was up on a tiny stage with not a person on the dance floor or even vaguely looking like they were going to go near.

There were a couple of attractive women at the other end of the bar, but they were talking quietly amongst themselves, must like we were. There was maybe 2 or 3 other people in the place, but I could tell on the weekends that this place would be packed with the type of crowd that needs to be frisked before being let in. The bartender says that they often have mid shelf DJs through, most notably DJ “Who the fuck cares”. Needless to say, he wasn’t much of a house fan. Contour would definitely be a good location to listen to a high end DJ as the venue is small enough that you could really feel the music. There is an added bonus being pressed up against the hotties on the dance floor as there is no where else to go.

Oh, and the drink was fine, if overpriced, but it was still better than Von’s or Murphy’s (and yes, I am going to bash these two places for the next 300 bars cause I hated them so much.)

All in all, a good place if you like house/techno and are willing to put with that crowd. I give in 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Middle Class

The Owl and Thistle is located down behind Pioneer Square, but that doesn’t stop people from finding it, and a damn lot of people find it often. This is easily one of the most popular Irish Pubs in the city and it is easy to see why. It has a front dining room with a touch of class. It is set aside from the rest of the bar so that you can eat in peace, but still listen to the din of nightlife while you chow.

The bartenders are friendly and mix you a generous pour, but this really is a beer primary place. The back area has seating and a small stage for live music, which there is usually. They almost always have someone playing who I have never heard of, but turn out to be pretty good never the less. If you can get a seat, I recommend that you guard it jealously and only let attractive women, or me come sit with you.

There is also a side pseudo sports area where the rabble can talk and drink without being annoyed by the live music. While the music area is dimly lit for atmosphere, all of that is stripped away over here. The lights are bright, the chairs and tables are cheap, and it reminds of most places when last call is gone and past and they want you to get the fuck out. There is a pool table, 2 dart machines, and I would swear a jukebox, but maybe I am hallucinating.

The crowd is much more male oriented, and there are not many groups of single women coming down here. A women here is probably with a guy, or serving you drinks. If you want a good place to pick women, this is probably not your place.

Anyhow, I liked this place, but my main complaint is that it is located downtown and I despise looking for parking. All that being said though, I give it 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Restaurant
Class: Chic

Parking in front of the Flying Fish turned out to be a happy coincidence. We were originally going to the Cyclops, but since we were parked in front of a place that had a bar open till 2 am, we figured why not. From the outside The Flying Fish is fairly unassuming in appearance. It has a large plate glass front, but it does not really draw your vision inside. It just appears like one of Seattle’s many trendy little places that scattered so readily about the city. Opening the door, the first thing that catches your attention though is the smell, and damn does it smell good. I don’t know what they were cooking, but it had the smell of good food, well spiced, and of high quality.

Walking through the small seating area, we went to the bar. It was high and the chairs were comfortable. The tables are a sleek black with matching china. The effect is very elegant and inviting. It made the trendy part of my heart sing. The bartender, Chris, was extremely friendly and seemed to be keeping himself busy, on a slow Tuesday night around midnight. Now I will say, that despite the unusual time of the week, there were two groups having food, and another having drinks.

The drinks were tall and strong and appropriately priced. A little on the pricey side, but at least you get what you pay for. Looking at the menu, we were salivating. If only the $40 we would have spent on dinner would not be better spent on four more bars. We can’t go spending our money frivolously, now can we.

Chris was the perfect image of a movie bartender. He had something to say on each subject if you looked like you wanted his opinion. He was clean cut, made good drinks, and he was always cleaning something. He has been the first bartender I have seen who looked like he was plucked directly from a Humphrey Bogart film. I want all my bartenders to be like Chris. Well except for the hot female versions of Chris that must exist out there.

The conversation was good, the food looked excellent, the décor was lovely, and the drinks were great. I give 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Lower Middle Class

I don’t really know what to say about this place other than the fact that it has character. It has a lot of character. Walking in and turning to look at the bar, you notice two things right off: 1) the Bartenders are definitely locals, and that there are piles of “merchandise” stacked on top of the bar. Now I can only assume that the boom boxes, bobble head dolls, blow dryers, and what not are prizes for bar games that they play there. Because otherwise, I can not imagine what is either stored inside the boxes, or what other possible purpose they could have.

We ordered our drinks, and I quickly got the feeling that this is the type of place where you want to get to know the bartender and fast. My drink was weak, with a capital EAK! I just kept tasting this really bitter kind of horrible taste in my mouth, and I finally figured out that it was the Tonic I was tasting. I don’t normally taste that much straight tonic in my drinks. Anyhow, the point of this, is that there was were many customers greeting the bartender by name and I suspect that if you are regular then you get a real pour, otherwise, you cope.

Goofy’s is also one of those “fun” bars, where they always have something going on for the clientele to do. There was Karokee when we got there, and I could see signs for upcoming events, and drawings and whatnot. There is a pool table in back as well as a couple of video game machines. I suspect that they do a brisk business, but that there is not a lot of variety in the people who come here.

Oh, one other things struck me as interesting. They are a Camel bar, approved bar. You can tell this by the fact that they had a fuckload of camel advertising up. Numerous lit and unlit signs, all advertising various brands of camel cigarettes. We had learned about this from the Camel Death Merchant that we met at the Sit and Spin and how that the Sit and Spin wasn’t Camel Compliant because they didn’t have enough signage up.

Anyhow, Goofy’s all in all wasn’t very good, but if you live close, I wouldn’t necessarily avoid it either. I give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Blue Collar

The Fremont Dock is, surprise, surprise, located right near the docks in Fremont. It is a housed in a plain uninteresting building, but the windows are clear and you can see people playing pool and drinking inside. I immediately like the place when I walk in. It is spacious, has two giant TVs on either side of the bar and the bar itself is long and inviting.

Now mind you, the bar is populated by only the saltiest of dogs at this time of night (it is about 11:30PM on a Thursday.) The bar staff seems to be just as “salty” as the clientele is. Now I must admit that I don’t really have anything in common with good hardy blue-collar workers, mostly because by their standards, I have never really worked a day in my life. Physical labor and I don’t really get along. I don’t mind exercise but work, well, that is why I have a good job.

In the back, they have a pool table that costs .75 cents and is free on Sundays from 4PM till close. They also have the tackiest zebra style walls that you have ever seen. It is your stock inside exposed wood look, painted black, and then given white stripes. It is not good, but it is tacky, and I love tack.

The drink was mixed strong, and that is always a plus. The waitress was attentive, if not extremely friendly. We spent a decent amount of time here, waiting for K-dog to get her but down here. I really liked this place, and would probably come back, but only if I made sure to dress in my denim. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Middle Class

The Pacific Inn is one of those rare finds which is why we started this quest. K-dawg has walked past this place a million times and has always been afraid to go in. Now I will admit that it looks like a total dive from the outside, and I would never willingly choose to go in here, rather than wandering over to Fremont to go to someplace, “nice.” Walking in we immediately knew that all of our preconceptions were wrong.

On the jukebox, there was punk playing (I’m not sure who), but it was classic and it was good. There were several attractive women sitting at the bar and the bartender was doing tricks with matches trying to impress them. There are several four-person booths along the left side when you walk in and a small seating area and pool table in the back. It is a very friendly place to sit and the bartenders are happy to make small talk as long as they are not burning themselves.

I ended up sitting next to a girl and we made some small talk. She mentioned that she was a bartender by trade, but couldn’t find a steady gig up here. She told me about a Nuts and Berrys which is Chamborg on the bottom, Kahlua, Vodka, and tonic, not mixed. Then you drink it quick with a big straw and it hammers you fast. She also mentioned that a Slippery Nipple is actually made with some foul anise flavored liquor (I can’t think of its name) and not Buttershots at all. Maybe Jennifer will post the answer to this question, and also what the Buttershots/Bailey’s drink is actually called.

We met Jennifer, the girl I was talking to, Valerie, the other bartender, and Rachel (briefly) Jennifer’s friend. Before we headed out, Jennifer mentioned that she works at Hoyt's on Saturday. So Hoyt's on Saturday it is.

The drink was good and priced at $3.50. Oh we finally found a place where they charged extra for fruit juice rather than extra for tonic. I think it had something to do with the fact that when the bartender ran out of Cranberry juice, he refilled the server bottle from a giant family size bottle of Ocean Spray. Well at least they use quality.

Now I should say, that there is nothing really here but some good drinks, a cozy atmosphere, friendly people, and great music. But for some reason it just felt like enough.

I very much want to go back to this place, but it will be a while before we are allowed. I give this place 4 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Night Spot
Class: Trendy

The Triangle really wants to be a great trendy place. It has a cool sign, attracts young pretty people, has an in house DJ (at least they did on Thursday, when we were there), is decorated in dark reds and blacks and has a giant lit up Prescriptions sign.

Now I will admit, that it has the right feel. It feels trendy and it even attracts young, trendy people. But that is no excuse for serving crappy overpriced drinks. You know my one cardinal rule, and they broke it. The drinks for $5 a piece and they were weak. Weak like a little girl trying to lift up one of those giant pixie sticks. Now this drink was not Murphy’s weak, or Von’s crappy, but it wasn’t anywhere near being $5 good.

So I will make this review short by saying the following: This is a great place to go to meet young trendy people and stare at hotties who won’t talk to you because they are young and trendy. I do recommend however that you drink liberally in your car before you walk through the door, nurse the drink you buy, and you better be damn sure that the girl that you are buying that drink for is actually interested in talking to you and not just trying to get out of buying her own $5 drinks. Oh, and you probably shouldn’t let her name her alcohol, as I suspect that will push you up to $6.50.

I give the Triangle 3 Martini Glasses out of 5 as long as you go drunk.

-w00t

Type: Night Spot
Class: Young

Up on Capitol Hill is Linda’s Tavern. This is a regular looking night spot both inside and out. It is a good place to sit around and have a drink while talking to your friends. There are a number of attractive women who come here, but this is really a sit around and talk to your own friends kind of place. There is not a lot of room to mill about and just make your way over to someone without looking like you are heading right for them.

The drinks are average, and priced about right. The bartender was very cute, and I very much liked her accent. I think it was Eastern European or possibly Baltic, but it was definitely sexy.

We sat on the porch in the back and that was actually really nice. They have greatly improved their porch area since last time I was there. They have now covered most of it, and installed heat lamps. The night wasn’t that cool to begin with, but I was out there without my jacket on, in a short sleeve shirt and it was perfectly comfortable.

I believe they have a jukebox, but I didn’t really notice the music as we were outside. Oh, I do have one major complaint about the place. The bathroom situation leaves much to be desired. The two bathrooms are located in a very small hallway that connects the porch to the bar, and if there is more than 2 people in a bathroom, the rest spill over into the hallway and clog it up. The bathroom itself is not well maintained, and if I remember correctly, the door to the toilet has been taken off the hinges. Now I don’t want to be stereotypical, but I wonder if that has something to do with them being located on Capitol Hill.

I give Linda's 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-w00t

Type: Restaurant
Class: Middle Class

Bill’s is really more of an Italian pizza place with a bar. I have eaten there before, but not in a long while, and as I recall it was really good. Inside there is not really any décor worth mentioning. It looks like your stock home town Italian restaurant where the lighting is vaguely dim and the tables are functional. The furniture is a little nicer than that, but it is still more utilitarian than attractive.

Our waitress was very nice and had the most interesting sequin hearts stuck to her face – 3 in a V on each side. She had fading pink hair put back into wings?, maybe pig tails, no I would remember pig tails. I also noticed at the table next to ours the mostly interesting group of 3 people. There were 2 guys and a girl and they each had a very distinctive look. Guy One: Bright Light Blue hair, all gelled and messy, leather and spikes punker look. Guy Two: Shave head, Maori style tattoos in strip like a Mohawk on his head, dressed in the sweatshirt punker look. Woman: Dark Maroon Hair (Stylish), tight sexy leather, trendy little jacket, but while she looked good, she also looked like she may have been part of the original punk movement in the early 80s, but still looks good.

Anyhow, we couldn’t get food because 1 AM had snuck up on us and our drinks were fine. I recommend this place for food, much more so than for drinks. I give it 2 and half Martini Glasses out of 5 as we are rating bars here, and not restaurants.

-w00t

Type: NightClub
Class: Trendy

Polly Ester’s is Seattle’s best place to go and dance to the 70’s and 80’s. It is actually quiet a great spot. That is if you do what we do. Get there before 9:00 PM on a Saturday (or whenever) when the place is mostly empty and you don’t have to pay a cover. Then drink their happy hour specials until 11:00. Make sure you find out what they are, and don’t let them trick you into ordering a top shelf drink when you want a $3 well. Dance to your hearts content, and then leave by about 11:00 when the dance floor gets so packed that you do not even get your own square, but rather have to share it with 2 other people (and this is not usually a good thing.) If you manage to flirt/pick up on a little cutie then by all means stay, otherwise leave and go to somewhere else to finish off your night in a place where you won’t be packed in like sardines.

The décor in here is split down the middle. On the 70’s side (Polly Ester’s) there are pictures of Pam Grier, Eric Estrada, a giant Twister Board, a stick your head through Brady’s Bunch wall, and generally garish colors (yellow, orange, red etc …) It has a very 70’s feel with its multi-colored light up floor and drinks with names like the Dukes of Hazard. On the 80’s side (Culture Club) there are pictures of Adam Ant, Billy Idol, a dancing cage, darker colors (blues, purples, and blacks), a large MTV symbol, and a smaller dance floor that flashes with purple strips of color. On Saturday Nights they do a live broadcast on 96.5 the Point (free plug bitches - so give me some money) which is actually a really good station. The station identifications within the club are a little annoying, but you just tune them out.

Now because you have taken the time to read this, I am going to let you in a little secret. On the second floor, in the back of Culture Club, by the stairs is a back room called the Red Room. It has couches, chairs, 2 wide screen TVs (which often play bad 80s movies) and usually its own bartender. This is a great place to sit and chill and make you moves on the women. Most people never seem to come back here because it is separated from the main hubbub, but trust me, it is a great place to spend 5 minutes or an hour two. It is like your own little refuge within Polly Ester’s.

I do have to say, that the old movies they play kind of crack me up, but for god sakes, why does Grease have to playing in the 70s rooms EVERY TIME I GO. I mean sheesh, wasn’t Grease II good enough to get some play. You know I’m kidding, right?

The drinks here are about average for most mainstream clubs I have been to, but I usually leave feeling a buzz, even if my pockets are much lighter. I really recommend that pre-funk in the car outside (about 2 or 3 shots worth) but make sure the bouncer can’t smell it. Oh, also, leave your Leatherman at home as they frisk at this place too.

All in all I give Polly Ester’s 3 and a Half Martini Glasses out of 5. It is not a bad place, as long as you know how to make it your bitch and then get out before the mobs overwhelm you.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Mid-Scale

Hoyt’s Pub is a nice place up on Queen Anne to go and get a drink with some friends and just generally hang out. The entire place is split into 3 main areas within one large room. The front portion is mainly a dining area with some cozy booths. The middle portion is made up of freestanding tables and is good for large groups that want to come and hang out. The back portion is smaller booths and a couple of tables for small groups (we managed 5, but it was tight) for casual conversation. The décor is all dark wood and it is well lit. This would be an excellent place for a first drink as it is friendly looking and does not have lingering uneasiness about it.

Their drinks are very good and reasonably priced (about $4.50). We also had a plate of onion rings that were beer battered and made with large whole onion slices. Most of the food we wanted at 11:00 on a Saturday night was out (like the Jalapeno Poppers) but that is not all that unusual, considering that they were doing a very brisk business that night.

I give Hoyt’s 3 Martini Glasses out of 5. It is a nice place, but there is little remarkable about it. I do however want to give big ups to Jennifer who was waitressing (you might remember her from our visit to the Pacific Inn) there that night.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Mid-Scale

I unfortunately have very little to say about this place. We went in there at about 11:45 on a Saturday night and it was almost completely deserted. It is primarily a restaurant so I can understand that it lacked any sort of nightlife feel. The décor was based on a high end Route 66 theme with a kind of underlying automotive feel, but really there was nothing about its look that caught my eye or repulsed me. I can say that it had a huge open kitchen and I can imagine that when the place is hoping it is a lot of fun to watch the chef’s work. There was one thing that I really liked about it. Way in the back, there is a door that leads outside to a tiny porch with a park bench on it that would be great for just two. Unfortunately, if there were anyone in the seating area in back, you would be kind of conspicuous.

The drinks were fine and priced at about $4. I give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: NightSpot
Class: Upscale

Walking into the Paragon I was immediately greeted by a live band which was playing fairly decent bar jazz. You know the type, 3 or 4 guys who get together on weekends to jam at a local bar who have fun together but will never make it big. The décor is nice with dark wooden booths, a very long bar with strange little metal sculptures which each hold something useful, but different (like cups of olives, or whatnot.) Running down the middle of the place is a large bar that separates that the “mingling” bar flies from the tables and booths running down the north side of the bar. In the back is a spacious seating area with large booths and a number of tables. This is definitely the dining area and very much feels like it is cut off from the rest of the bar. Well, except for the fact that people headed to the bathroom have to cut right through the middle of this area.

There was a fairly good crowd and it was generally a more well to do, attractive looking crowd. There were a number of older couples, but mostly it is not a bad little nightspot. That was until I got my drink. We paid $5 for the drink and my G&T was just down right weak. I would comment on the quality of the gin if I were able to taste it. I am told that they have good martinis but that does not help me hear. Wolf, who got a shot, congratulated himself for his cleverness after tasting both my G&T and Ryan’s Long Island, which apparently was both weak and made from a mix. This is never a good sign.

On the plus side, there was a very attractive bartender dressed all in black and she had some mad cleavage. Props to Sean for making sure I went up to the bar to look check her out. She really was the high point of this bar.

On the down side, while the band played pretty good bar jazz, they should not be allowed to do covers. They covered Mustang Sally and I nearly wanted to gauge out my own ears with a dull spoon. I suppose the song was over before I would have been able to do it, but not by much.

All that being said, it was not a bad little place, but there are better ways to spend your $5 a drink. I give it 2 and Half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant (Family Bar)
Class: Mid-Scale

When we at the Pacific Inn, they warned us away from the Red Door because, and I quote, “They are a family bar. What the fuck is with that.” Valerie’s assessment is an accurate one. We went there for Sunday lunch and our standard one drink on Sunday for even we must rest. The Red Door is a large, fairly uninteresting space that has a lot of standing room, numerous tables, and some of the highest ceilings you have ever seen. The space is well lit by large bay windows around the entire outside during the day and by large floodlights at night.

I will say that the food was excellent, but as I have said before, I don’t rate on the food, and this is not called 570Restaurants.com. Jason ordered a Bloody Mary and I got a Mamosa. We realized that the drink didn’t “count” but since we have the only one person must drink spirits rule, we were safe from having to order a second VERY OVERPRICED drink. Jason’s Bloody Mary came in a tall glass and seemed to have a lot of liquid (the glass was shaped like a thin sundae glass). This is a good thing, I think, since it was $6.50 and it wasn’t very good. It didn’t have enough flavor, enough spice, or enough sweet, to give it any distinguishing flavor at all. Then there was my Mamosa. I don’t really know what to say about this other than the fact that half a glass of champagne and half a glass of orange juice also cost me $6.50. God dammit people, but would you get a grip on yourselves. Now I suspect that they were using $6 a glass champagne and not Totts or Ballatore Spumanti may have something to do with it, but shit man.

As far as being a bar (I have been there at night as well), I can honestly say that if you want to go out to a bar and you want to bring your kids, then this is the bar for you. But if you are like me, then you rate this bar 1 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Hiram’s has almost everything you would like from a great place to have a drink. Hiram’s is on the edge of Shilshole and borders both the Ballard Locks and the park that houses the Locks. The space itself is a converted warehouse, but I would not have even noticed except that my friend pointed it out to me. Through the very nice woodwork and interesting teaked lamps I could see the painted industrial ceiling high up above us. Around us, all of booths and accent pieces were gorgeous. There is lots of metal work, usually in interesting and utilitarian pieces. This includes pieces like coat racks, light fixtures, and bar shelves. The coolest piece Hiram’s has though is a giant 3 tiered lazy susan of booze. Why have shelves when you can spin for the booze of your choice.

The drinks themselves were of decent quality, but for only $4 they were quite a deal. While Hiram’s lacked pure drinky perfection, the view, the exceptional décor, and Gretchen more than made it up for. Big ups to Gretchen who asked why I was taking notes and who I worked for. She liked our idea, and when she came to find out what else we wanted, had the check ready because, “You’ve got a mission.”

Jeff and I had Oyster shooters and Chris and Jason had Cheese Triangles. Both were excellent, but I especially liked their cocktail sauce. It was very sweet and flavorful, and great enhanced the Oysters. Looking up I noticed that Hiram’s has very nice Happy Hour specials. I recommend that you check them out, before coming to maximize your bar visit here.

Hiram’s well deserves the 4 Martini Glasses out of Five that I am awarding it.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Ray’s Boat House is located down on the docks with a pure west facing view of the Sound. Outside, you always know when you are there because of the giant RAYS sign in red neon that sits on a 30’ high tower of girders. The parking lot outside of Rays is quite large, but when we got there, it was packed to bursting and the Valets were running around parking cars madly. I was a bit surprised at how busy it was at 7:00 on a Monday, but considering how beautiful the sunset looked from the deck, the mob of people there made a lot more sense. On a side note, the parking lot of Anthony’s right next door, while still well populated, had a lot more and would be a lot easier to park. My only complaint about Valet parking is that you always have to tip them, and this is an added expense that I would rather avoid usually. It is nice if you are trying to impress a date, but otherwise it is just kind of obnoxious.

Ray’s is styled as an upscale “boat house” which really just means that have stuffed fish and oars on the walls. It has a simple style and while not as elegant as a place like Hiram’s it is still nice. The downstairs is filled with a large dining area and the upstairs is split into a small bar area, a more casual dining room, and a large balcony with seating for about 40 people or so. There is not nearly enough space to stand in the bar area if all of the bar tables are taken, but if it is warm enough to go out on deck, that is fine.

When we got there, the place was packed. There was a little confusion over the reservation ticket we received and whether we could sit out on deck, but it was eventually taken care of and we made our way down to the far end of the deck and took over a large table. While it was a bit cold out on the deck, Jason grabbed one of the many blankets that Ray’s provided. It was here that we finally got to take a sip of our drinks.

The drinks at Ray’s are DAMN GOOD!!! My G&T had a great flavor to it. I can’t really compare it to the 727 because it was different flavor, but different in a good way. The main advantage the Ray’s G&T had over 727’s G&T is the $2.25 difference between them. For the money, the Ray’s G&T wins, but otherwise it is a close race. The vodka that used in Jason’s Cape Cod was exceptionally tasty as well.

Sitting on the porch, sipping a great G&T, looking at the sunset, and sitting with good friends, influences my decision to give Ray’s 4 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Upscale

Anthony’s Homeport is a large brown building at the end of the commercial block in Shilshole. From the outside it does not have the visual appeal of Ray’s but I have heard nothing but good things people who have been here before. Inside, the building is spacious, with huge banquet rooms upstairs, a large dining area in the front of the building, and sizeable Lounge down the stairs that houses the bar. The décor is simple with a few “fish” motif items, but it is kept simple and tasteful. The most striking feature is the fish tank wall that separates the bar from the hallway leading to the dining room. It is filled with some beautiful fish, but the tank itself could stand a good cleaning.

I realize that Anthony’s is primarily a restaurant, but as the bar area is its own room, with its own mini dining area, and lots of standing room around the bar, I decided to classify it as a Lounge. Fortunately you can get the full menu here and Jeff was nice enough to order a Pounder (Mussels, Clams, and a Beer for $10) to share with the group. We love Jeff. The food was good (not the best we’ve ever had, but the Mussels had excellent flavor.) The drinks were decent, but once again, at $4 I wasn’t complaining.

The best time to come here is at happy hour (either 4-6pm or after 9:30) as the specials that they have are amazing. Most of the appetizers (including muscles, and whatnot) are almost half off, and after 9:30 they have a free appetizer buffet.

All in all, this is a great place to go for drinks and seafood, although I very much recommend that you time it to hit happy hour in order to maximize your bang for you buck. I give Anthony’s 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Mid-Scale

I have been to Louie’s Cuisine several times before for food (Chinese of course.) Thus I knew that if the quality of their lounge was anything like the quality of their restaurant, I knew I was going to be happy. From the outside Louie’s is a large brown building that just seems to blend into it’s surrounding. This is in despite of the fact that it actually looks quite different from everything around it. In the American Chinese Food Tradition (so it would seem) they have a large heavy wooden door out front that lends the place a kind of weighty feel that makes you want to like the place.

Inside, the decorations are a strange, but nice, mix of the “traditional” Chinese, and Seattle Americana. Everywhere you look, there are large high-backed chairs (brown, not white) that just make you want to plot a take over of a government, do a hit on a rival drug lord, or go out and fight some super heroes. Unfortunately, not every table has these chairs, and most only have 2, so someone gets left out. One of these days, I am going to reserve a table with 4 of those chairs. But I digress.

The Lounge area itself is comfortable looking. It has a nicely appointed seating area, a mid-size bar, and a small raised platform with about four tables. There is some baseball memorabilia on the walls and a couple of other knickknacks. Overhead there are several ceiling fans, which probably really help during the summer to keep the place cool.

Frank, behind the bar, is a great guy. He mixes with a strong pour, which is great when the drink are about $3.25 and it wasn’t even happy hour. He said that we could get a full menu in the bar, Crab Rangoons (appetizers) till close, and that they were half price from 4 to 6 for happy hour. I must say that I love the fact that Seattle has a happy hour, unlike in Massachusetts where it is illegal to have happy hour on drink prices.

The only downside to Louie’s for most people is its location. Being out in Ballard it seems like it is too far away, but to them, I will simply say, you are wrong. It is located on a convenient main drag, has ample parking (usually) great food, and strong drinks. They even have psychic some nights. I secretly believe that they also run illegal Maj jong tournaments in the hidden downstairs, but really that it is just the part of me that watches too many Yakuza movies.

With all of this being said, I give Louie’s 4 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Average

The LockSpot Café is not the type of place that you would normally go into on a whim. From the outside, it looks like a total dive. This is highlighted by the movie marquee style sign that reads, “Two Happy Hours Everyday” on one side, and “WOW. Check out our new ATM” on the other. How can you take a place like that seriously? Well, as it turns out, you should.

When you drive up to park, there are four spaces out front, poorly designed, but serviceable. I was parked at such an angle, that if it wasn’t midnight when we left, I would surely end up t-boned by an oncoming car out of Shilshole. But really, who comes out of Shilshole at Midnight. No one leaves there till 2 when Ray’s and Anthony’s kicks them out.

Walking through the door, we were expecting to see salty dockworkers, or rough blue-collar types. Instead, what we found was a nice café space, with small but serviceable bar area, a pool table surrounded by several very good-looking women, and a classic pinball machine. It was actually very nice here.

The bartender mixes drinks with a strong pour. Now when I say a strong pour, I mean that she pretends the Gin is going to be on the Howard Stern Show (TV), and the Tonic is there so the Gin won’t be naked, but not by much. Jason’s Cape Cod was, well, pink. I’ve never seen a pink Cape Cod before, but I didn’t hear him complaining.

I have no idea how the food is here but since the LockSpot has a happy hours from 4PM to 7PM and Midnight to Close (2AM), it easily has the most attractive Happy Hours around. Sure it is not as plentiful as the Rickshaw’s 9 hours of happy hour per day, but the times are well placed.

I give the LockSpot 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

Walking up to Vito’s you never ever have the vaguest of clues that you are about to walk into a place that is actually fairly special. Walking through the main doors, there is typical greeting of cocktails, and concert postings, but then it opens up into the Foyer. From here you can see that entire place is done in combination of traditional “Italian Restaurant” and smoky Lounge. You could totally picture the Rat Pack leaning against the bar having a few drinks, set against the back drop of the red dimpled booths, dim lighting, red stemmed martini glasses, and red curtains flanking barred windows.

One of the most interesting designs that Vito’s has is a two sided bar. There are two bars flanking a central island filled with booze and hanging above each is a rack of glasses. The effect is such, that as you look across in the dining area from the bar, that you think you are looking at a reflection, even though it is obvious that there is no mirror. The effect was interesting with being disconcerting.

The best seating spots were taken. Specifically, this one high backed booth covered in the dimpled red leather, with a tall table and several high stools. It is very conspicuous, but in a good way. To the left of the bar, is this little dance floor flanked by mirrors and small white lights. I could totally picture several little Italian couples dancing as http://www.sinatrafamily.com/ played in the background.

The drinks were great for $2, but they would be a little weak for $4 (which is what I suspect their non-Happy Hour prices are.) but considering their Happy Hour goes till 9:00 M-Th, you should be fine, most days. In addition, to amazing Happy Hour drink prices, they also server $2 food, with a choice of thin Italian Style pizzas (rather than American style), Buffalo wings, or slightly greasy burgers with fries. These are not amazing deals, but really good for bar food.

I have a final note. In the men’s bathroom they have an interesting tile mural. It makes me want to know what is in the women’s bathroom. They also have ice in the urinals. Does anyone know why you would put ice in the urinal (please don’t guess, I can do that myself.)

I really liked Vito’s and I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5. Although I will have to check it out during “prime time” to really get a better feel of the nighttime crowd.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

The First Hill Bar and Grill inside looks like you would expect it to look from the outside. It is kind of old, but has been kept up nicely. It is clean inside, even if the environment feels a little dingy. Up front there is a food counter for Diner style service, a restaurant seating area up the stairs, and in the far back right corner is the bar. The bar was the only area at 7:30 on a Thursday that had any people. I kind of felt bad for the girl behind the counter because she looked dreadfully bored and was dieing for release. I would have talked to her, but she had no alcohol to dispense and our quest did not lie with her.

The back bar area in even more dark and dingy than the rest of the place. Sitting around the bar were many older men and women talking quietly. I would swear we got looks like “strange ferners” coming into a town in the south, but maybe it is my imagination. Trudy, the bartender, was absolutely wonderful and totally made up for any shortfall this place might have had. She was friendly, mixed a damn strong drink, and was talkative. She even topped my G&T off with some more Tonic after I had the first couple of sips in order to even out. Now that is the way I like my drinks.

The bar area is a large U and has seats on 3 sides. There are large cupboards of booze up high, which kind of obscure your view, but unless you are actually talking to the bartender (which we were) you don’t really notice them. The bar did, however, have a luxury that we did not even realize was a luxury. The barstools have backs. The ability to lean back while sitting at the bar, is actually quite a little luxury.

There is a single TV playing softly in the upper right of the area but otherwise, it is a perfectly secluded place to go and take someone who you don’t want anyone to see you with. Off to the side, they also had a sit down Miss Pacman machine. These are had to find, although it was the second we had seen in two days (the Lock Spot also has one.)

There is not a lot to say about the First Hill B&G, but it is a nice place, with a truly great bartender and you get $3.75 worth when you order a drink. I can’t say if the food is good or not, but it is Greek and American, so how wrong could it go? Famous last words, huh?

I give the First Hill B&G 3 and Half Martini Glasses out of 5, although I give Trudy 5 out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel Bar
Class: Upscale

The Sorrento Hotel is one of Seattle’s oldest and most distinguished hotels and the Fireside Room lives up to that image. This room is actually the sitting area off of the main foyer by the front desk. In addition to having a fireplace (imagine that) there is also a piano. When we arrived there was a Lounge Singer (I don’t know how else to describe him) doing a name that tune game with audience. He was pretty good, but I barely recognized most of his tunes. The room itself is done in dark wood and red patterned upholstery. All of the chairs are very comfy and several couches sit next to the actual fireplace for better viewing.

There is a bar kind of ignominiously placed in a corner of the room, but this is because at the time of our visit, their bar proper was closed for some sort of renovation. The temporary bar is actually a bit of an eyesore, but I think it is only temporary, so I’m not marking the Fireside Room down for it.

Now, I am about to tell you the single best reason to come here. After you order your drinks, the waitress brings over a small bowl of mixed nuts. These are real mixed nuts, and not any of the bar crunch crap. You know, the stuff that is mostly pretzels and those foul toasted bread things. This was a nice mix of cashews, almonds, not too many peanuts, walnuts, Brazil nuts, and such. The drinks were strong and for $5.00 they were well priced.

Our waitress was a little standoffish but she was the only person serving the entire room so she didn’t really have time to stay and chat.

The Fireside Room is definitely a cozy place to have a drink before you go out. It is by no means a destination (unless you have a fascination with Lounge Singers.) I did enjoy my time here though, so I give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Trendy

The Panther Room in the Cyclops is easy to spot. When you’re driving down 1st Ave, just look for the Giant Eye on the west side of the street and you are there. I have to admit that I driven by this place hundreds of times and I never quite knew what it was. In addition to the giant Cyclopean eye, there is also a small fence with some interesting ironwork and some space for tables in the summertime.

The environment within the Panther Room is very inviting and friendly. The clientele is the urban “youth” of Belltown (20s and 30s.). There is a spacious bar on one side and booths along the other wall, as well as some additional seating in back. There are large chalkboards announcing the various drink and food specials for the night. The most interesting thing about the bar though, are the stools. Each stool has a large industrial spring around the support column. I’m not sure if this is just decoration, or whether they actually serve some purpose. There are lots of these little touches that really add to the feel of the place. My favorite is the giant UFO ceiling lamps. Sitting below them and looking up you can’t really tell, but catch them from and angle and you realize that there is a flight of flying saucers hanging above your head.

Our waitress, Jennifer, was extremely friendly and knowledgeable. She brought us some drinks, which were average and priced at $4.50. Not a bad price, but it is Belltown, so you can expect to pay a little more for drinking in the city.

Despite the fact that I don’t actually seem to have a lot to say about the Panther Room, I did really like the place. It had a good crowd, friendly staff, and excellent décor. I give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Trendy

Adobo, as you might imagine, has a western/tex-mex feel to it. Unfortunately it can’t really decide what it wants to be. When we walked in, we were immediately greeted by large J shaped bar and two young and trendy or young and surly (hard to tell) bartenders/busers/waitresses. It was kind of hard to tell. We took two stools right in front of the door, and as it turned out, right by the large container of Tortilla chips, which the waitress (?) kept coming over to, opening up, and filling large bowls of things. It was kind of distracting.

The décor here had a vague southwestern feel to, with Adobe like colors, Mexican(ish) masks on the walls, and one wall of exposed brick. It was all in all, almost totally non-descript in any meaningful way. Behind us, there was a DJ station (but he wasn’t actually playing, must have been preparing for the night crowd.) Upstairs there were two pool tables (purple felt, as I recall), as well as a small (maybe four tables) dining area.

Like I said, Adobo can’t really decide what it is. There didn’t seem to be enough room to properly mingle like in a bar. There was a DJ, but nowhere to dance. There were two pool tables, but they seemed kind of out of place. Anyhow, I didn’t like it. I will admit that they did have good music playing in the background. The crowd here was distinctly much younger/trendier than at either Vito’s or the First Hill B&G and generally better looking. There was an older couple having dinner, a lone 50ish man having a beer off to one side, and several pairs of young men and women, so it is hard to say exactly what kind of crowd comes here.

The drinks were average and priced at $3.74 for some reason that still completely escapes me. Once again, though we noticed that they used Cranberry juice from the giant Ocean Spray bottle (like at the Pacific Inn.) I wonder how common this practice is.

Anyhow, I give the Adobo a solid 2 Martini Glasses out of 5. It didn’t suck, but I wouldn’t choose to go back.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Let me say my one nice thing about this place before I otherwise say my piece. I really liked the décor. They had a huge display case of unusual and interesting Tequila bottles (a personal favorite, not that I drink it like I used to.) In addition, to a kind of summery airy feel, there were white gauzy curtains hanging from the ceiling that looked really nice.

The bar is located in the back, forcing you to walk through the tables of dining patrons and the path is not really what you would call large. Back there is a sizeable bar and a two person tables for semi, vaguely intimate dining, I guess. Sitting at the bar, the chairs were, well, odd. While they had backs, normally a good thing, they felt like they were tipped slightly forward. This combined with a little too much cushion gave me the sense that I was going to fall forward out of the chair.

When I sit at the bar, I generally expect the bartender to direct more attention my way, rather than less. Now I can understand that he was filling drink orders for his waiters, but it took him literally 3 minutes to acknowledge our presence. I usually find that ethnic restaurants run by their particular ethnicity are usually pretty good. I do, however, like it when they also have a good grip of the English language. Our bartender did not. If he spoke English, he gave very little sign of it and I could not really understand what he was saying. I have traveled fairly extensively and can order drinks in a number of languages, but this is Seattle, and I doubt most people can say more than “Dos Beers, Por Favor” while holding up two fingers.

Jason and I made a horrible, horrible mistake. We deviated from our standard drinks. Instead we ordered two house Margaritas. DO NOT ORDER THE HOUSE MARGARITAS!!!! They are $4.50 and taste like something died in the bottom of glass and then Margarita mix was poured into. Or to quote my friend Doug, “I pity the fool who uses Mr. & Mrs. T Margarita Mix.” I think I would have preferred to be slapped around and then have the bartender pour lemon juice in a paper cut. That way at least I wouldn’t still be tasting the drink after we left the bar.

Needless to say, I give Galerias 1 Martini Glass crushed into little pieces and used like salt for my drink out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Located at the far northern tip of Broadway, the Deluxe is worth the walk. Walking up to it, you pass a large bay windows that allows you to view the cozy interior. Pulling open the heavy wooden door I am always struck by how friendly the place seems. The interior is done in a combination of dark wood and some light pine. High up behind the bar is a colorful menu displaying their fairly comprehensive list of specialty drinks. These are items like specialty Martini’s and other popular named drinks. Off to one side is a glass enclosed fireplace and separating the dining area from the bar area is an interesting metal railing. Surrounding the bar are tiny little barstools, so if you have a big butt, I recommend avoiding the barstools.

The back half of the Deluxe has more of a neighborhood bar feel. It has several high booths, a couple of tables, and two pool tables. The lighting here is much brighter giving it a less intimate feel. The pool tables are almost always full, but grab one if you can get it.

I have been here many times before and I am going to post a little gripe that has nothing to do with their drinks. The Deluxe used to have the BEST Key Lime Pie ever. We would go, just for pie. Then about 6 months ago they got a new chef who, foolishly, changed the Key Lime pie. It is now tepid and bland. The new guy adds chocolate to it and believe me, if you need to add chocolate to Key Lime pie, then it is not worth eating. Our waitress at the time confirmed what our taste buds were telling us, but I haven’t had the heart to find out if they have changed the recipe back.

On the drink front however, we got strong $3 well drinks and that always makes me happy. The prices on their specials are a little steep (something like $5.50 + for a Lemondrop) but they are least good drinks. The waitresses are always very friendly and the dinner menu is excellent. I recommend the steak with caramelized onions and crumbled blue cheese.

The Deluxe receives 3 and a Half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Class: Lounge
Type: Dive

The Stirrup Room in Rimrock’s Steak House is about as backcountry dive as you are going to get in Seattle. Strangely, when I say this that is not a bad thing. The lighting is dim, the seating is spacious (if you can get one of the two booths) or cramped (everywhere else.) Walking up to the bar you can get booze, pull-tabs, and who knows what else. The waitress and bartender were very friendly, but we got several more of those questioning “ferners” stares from a couple of people sitting sullenly at the bar.

Now when as I try to describe this place, make sure that you darken the image in your mind and then multiply each piece that I describe by at least, and probably five. There are blow up Budweiser cars, party banner advertisements (beer, baseball, etc …), wagon wheel ceiling lamps with strings of Christmas light hanging from them, and playing cards with names written on them stapled to the ceiling. I never did get a chance to find out why. If anyone knows, please let write a comment to let us know.

There was a small dance floor off to one side and a jukebox. We didn’t get to test the jukebox as Groovestock was squeezed into one side and up on their tiny, really meant for one person, stage. Now, while I only saw one giant old west wall mural (with cowboys and rolling hills) I suspect that there were more covered by Groovestock’s tie-died wall hangings.

The drinks were well and cheap. $3.75 for well gin, made strong is fine. It was the right price with the Von’s flavor.

The Stirrup Room did have a very cute redheaded waitress (who is usually the bartender) but I didn’t get her name. She was very friendly, even if she couldn’t remember whose drinks were whose. But none of the bar waitresses ever seem to get it wholly right on the first try anyhow.

I give the Rimrock Steak House 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Dive

Wow is this place low class. I can’t even begin to describe how low class it is. The drinks are $2.75 and now I don’t know if they don’t carry tonic, or if they just didn’t realize it was out, but a Gin and Water is foul tasting.

The whole is very brightly lit. The tables are covered with grey pleather tablecloths and the menus are misspelled. Specifically the word “Estableshement.” It has four pool tables, pull tabs, and I am told very good Fish and Chips (not that I will ever return to find out.)

The Clientele here was … well … white trash. It is Lake City after all, and I hate to be an elitist snob about it, but the bar was very low-end working class. Nice people I’m sure, but I suspect that I am a too much of a classist for my own good.

Anyhow, I give the place 2 Martini Glasses out of 5 as it is not a bad place, but I wouldn’t go there by choice.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Mid-Class

The Lake City Bar and Grille is easily the nicest place I have ever been to in Lake City. Nicer than any of the other bars, nicer than Denny’s and nicer than … well, except for Eagle’s Hardware that’s it. So maybe its not a sterling recommendation but it is still very nice.

The LCG&B is a very nice place to have a drink. The game was playing in the background, it has several of your standard Golden Tee machines, and the music was noticeable, but not too loud to stifle conversation. The juke played several good songs while we were there, all of a rock variety.

When you go, look for the attractive dark haired waitress/bartender named Nancy. Nancy is awesome. She is incredibly friendly and will treat you right, if you treat her right. The owner was very friendly although he did look a little forlorn when I ordered chicken strips.

He immediately disappeared and was not seen again until he re-appeared with the strips in hand about 8 minutes later. I should say that the Chicken Strips were of an above average bar food quality (none of it is really that good).

The chairs are comfortable, there is plenty of space to walk and between the tables. The bar is well stocked with $3 well drinks and $4.50 calls. The clientele was white collar and kept to themselves. This is definitely the place to go for a nice drink and chat if you are in Lake City and looking for booze.

I give the Lake City Bar & Grille good solid 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Midscale

The Ballard Ale House is your typical sports bar. It is large, well lit, and has all of those things a sports bar should have: pool tables, pinball machines, Frat Boys, a Deer Hunter video game, lushy women, etc …

About the only downside to this sports bar is its location. It is located in Ballard, past Fremont, which puts it fairly out of the way for most people. It is a large open area, has four pool tables, Medieval Madness Pinball and ample seating. It even has lots of parking, which is huge plus on the weekend.

The drinks were about average for $3.50(?) and while the bartender gave Jason some lip, I wasn’t there for it. Now I’m not really big on sports bars but I imagine the crowd that they get here is pretty good. From what I saw, it was mostly young, probably lower middle class/middle class. There were some decent looking women, frat looking guys, and was generally well populated for a Wednesday evening.

It doesn’t really have anything in the way of décor. That is other than the beer advertisements and the beams across the ceiling. It doesn’t really have any personality but it’s a sports bar for god sakes. Oh, I suspect that they had TVs there as well, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

All in all it is a decent place so I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: English Pub
Class: Midscale

The George and Dragon is a very popular place and from what I can tell, rightfully so. From the outside it has the traditional English Pub look. It has the faux English Pub wood exterior and that shingle look that is supposed to make it look friendlier. Since it is set back from the road, this is hard to see unless you are looking for it. Outside it also has a parking lot for about 10 cars and some exterior seating (about 3 or 4 tables.) The door leading in is the traditional heavy wooden door that I imagine you can pick out of the English Pub catalog.

While the interior has the same English Pub Catalog feel, it is actually quite nice. The pub’s main feature is its generous bar island in the center. It is a huge dark wooden structure with seating on both sides and an ample selection of booze. It even has both Harp and Guinness on tap (as is required for any pub that doesn’t want to have sand kicked in its face by the other English Pubs.)

The stools were a little uncomfortable, but the bartender was nice enough and she humored our quest politely but not noticeably. Our drinks were strong and priced at $4 but I can’t remember exactly.

The George and Dragon, despite being quite spacious has a nice comfortable feel. There were not a lot of single people here, but there were numerous groups having drinks and socializing in its soft light. There was a dartboard and at least one TV. There was also the traditional English Pub wall hangings and placards. You know, I really need to see the catalog, because I’m curious if everyone just likes the same things from it or whether there just isn’t a lot to choose from.

I have driven past the George and Dragon when the weather is nice and people are just spilled into the parking lot. On the weekends, this is probably the English Pub equivalent of the Ballroom (just down the street.)

I really liked this